I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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