I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
