You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
