We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
