I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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