Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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