im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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