I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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