Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
