Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
