Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
