We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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