she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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