Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
