he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
