No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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