Say something about gay babies.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
