Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
