Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
