I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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