in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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