he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
