I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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