dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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