garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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