i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
