im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
