Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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