I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
