a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
