sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
