Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
