...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
