Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
