You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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