Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize