yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
