i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
