we have pet lesbian snakes
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
