So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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