my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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