How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
