Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
