yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
