i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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