Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
