hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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