btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
