We need to rekindle our bromance
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
