I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
