I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
