I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize