Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize