it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This baby is an asshole
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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